mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
