literally had 100 drinks last night.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
