i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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