Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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