No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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