everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
