On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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