Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
