I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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