He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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