Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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