I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
