Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
