it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
