8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize