I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
