making cat noises will not fix the situation.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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