The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
