why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
