I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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