Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
