he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
only you would photoshop your dick
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
