im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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