id be glad to
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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