put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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