i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
