So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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