Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
