Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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