My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
