Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
