yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
