I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
