Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
