Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
