My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
