Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
