Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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