I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
