And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
