literally had 100 drinks last night.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
