They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
