I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
