Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Randomize
