Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
