remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
