69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize
