i just wanna soil my oats bro
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
