and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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