what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I FOUND THE LEGS
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