We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
