Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
