I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
