so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
bring money and cleavage
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
