i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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