I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
