there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
