Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
