He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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