woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
