Yo dont text me then not text me
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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